Start From Scratch

I finally got back in the swing of posting this year and then disappeared for the summer. In order to have something to write about, I have to live a life worth recording. In my free time without the kids, I am building a life from scratch.

When I was a kid and we’d move over the summer, I had a chance to reinvent myself. Cut my hair different, change my style, or introduce myself with a nickname instead of my given name. The same is true after divorce, which in my case also included relocation. When I was married I rarely did things without my family, other than errands while kids were in school. Now that I am alone more often, I get to decide what I’d like to do with that precious time.

Rather than using my free time to do more of what I’d done before, I had to start fresh. Make friends, find places to go, balance calming recovery from full time childcare with blowing off steam as an adult. It’s very odd to go from rarely speaking to adults to interacting with them all the time. Especially new adults that I am trying not to scare away.

And so, I vanished over the summer. I traveled to see friends in Las Vegas and took an epic trip to France. I tried to write about the big trip before, but I am no travel blogger. If you’ve always wanted to travel somewhere but worried the trip might not be your partner’s dream trip in the same way it’s meaningful to you, go without them. I planned a trip I loved, did things I wanted to do, got some tips from friends who suggested excursions out of my comfort zone, and thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was an adventure I’ll never forget.

On that note, my non-travel-blogger advice would be the following:

Don’t put too much pressure on the trip. You never know, you might go back. Don’t cram in everything at the expense of relaxation and enjoyment. I’d been to Paris as a kid so got to skip the Louvre, which freed up a lot of time for other things on my bucket list. Guides were advising people to cancel their trips to Paris because the Olympics was “ruining everything,” but it was a truly unique visit. The Olympics are also very exciting and special, so getting to see the prep was pretty cool. There is not one masterlist of mandatory events when you visit a city – not being able to visit Trocadero because of the construction of Olympic stadiums did not in any way ruin my time in Paris.

Throw in something that seems off brand. I went to France for the food and culture, but really enjoyed my day trip to Omaha Beach. I would not have gone if it hadn’t been suggested to me.

Be flexible. Travel can be chaotic. Learning trains and metros and languages all while surrounded in other tourists from around the world? Things are going to go wrong. There were hours long lines for things I wanted to see, overbooked excursions, crappy weather, tourists blocking sidewalks, and my French only got worse as the trip progressed. Think of a vacation like an awkward class photo of your kid – it’s not perfect but it’s an accurate representation of life on that day. I couldn’t walk into Sacre Coeur because I had a flight to catch the line was ridiculous, but there was someone playing La Vie En Rose on saxophone behind the building and I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything. Strolling Montmartre looking for last minute souvenirs with church bells and saxophone in the background? Priceless.

Get the cream sauce. This is technically Anthony Bourdain’s travel advice, but it certainly applies. Eat the foods you came to eat and don’t complain about the richness or carb-heavy contents until the jetlag clears back home. I flew all the way to France, damn it. Pass me the butter and throw in another pastry. Besides, once you get home and try a squishy grocery store croissant you will be such a snob you’ll probably only eat laminated dough abroad from now on. So actually, living it up on holiday is an effective diet plan.

So there you have it – advice for travel and advice for life. Roll with the punches, try something new, and remember nothing is perfect. My summer was hectic but fulfilling, and I like the life I’m building out of the rubble.