Where Are The Wild Things?

You can’t actually do it all. Now that I’m working, things are falling through the cracks, and the first to go were Mom’s pet projects. I attempted to continue a weekly post here, private writing, light writing for work, professional organizing in people’s homes, making holidays magical, caring for three children, cooking for fun, and maintaining a personal life, but alas, it has proved impossible.

Some readers view the frequency of my posts as a barometer for my mental state – are you okay? You haven’t written in a while…

Sometimes they’re right. If things are really bleak, I won’t want to put that out into the universe. Right now, that isn’t the problem. The issue is time. I need the earth to spin slower so there are more hours in each day. We have whittled life down to work, childcare, school projects and after school activities, holidays, and (some) personal life. In fact, my colleagues read my blog and have asked if I plan to write about the cast of characters I work with every day and not just the crazy shit we find in people’s closets, and the answer is I would, but when?

I’m not sad that I’m busy. It feels nice to be needed in multiple places at once. It’s difficult to cut out time for creativity, which was just for me. Sure, I shared it with all of you, but I wrote it for myself to organize my thoughts. When I write I try to end on a hopeful note, so even if the content isn’t funny, I’m forced to find a silver lining for closure, which helps me in real life and not just on the screen of my laptop. Lately, though, things have been going quite well.

My kids are thriving and turning into unique and intricate creatures every single day. They are patient with me and want to know about my job, which makes me happy. They are all doing very well in school and get rave reviews from their teachers, but also, fuck the science fair. I loathe big projects that are “fun for the whole family” because no they are NOT and kids are actually graded on the heavy-handed help of their parents, not all of whom have the time and resources to produce Nobel-worthy projects. If a kid has a project that includes forms and signatures from parents, that’s a parent project.

Work has been a lot of fun, and a lot of learning. I can now officially manage a project, which means I can tell you to get rid of all your shit, but professionally. And when you refuse, I can still sort and organize and display your treasures to your liking. And during the holiday season I can also decorate Christmas trees with Barbies, which is a skill I hadn’t expected to unlock, but here we are. I am the only single parent on staff, so I am uniquely capable of picking up some work when other moms have their kids at home and mine are with their father. Being a mom is challenging, no matter how much help you’ve got – something is getting shelved.

My personal life is fulfilling. I have met a lot of lovely people with whom I spend time when my children are away and I am not at work. My kids are gone all of next week, so I’ll have Friendsgiving instead, and I don’t have to make a turkey! Being apart on holidays is hard, but it’s a good time to toss out old traditions that don’t serve me anymore and come up with new ones. Usually Thanksgiving prep takes me weeks, but I don’t have the time, so I’ll be forced to take it easy on myself. I feel comfortable, happy, and more myself than I have in a very long time.

I hope to have more time to write as work slows down for the holidays and my kids finish their cumbersome school projects for the semester, but when I do have time I write for myself instead of for this blog, so if I’ve only got an hour in the week, you won’t see much here. A lot of my posts are complaints, sad stories, frustrating stories, and so on, and since things are going well and I don’t want to overshare right now, I haven’t felt compelled to write as much for public consumption. Creativity comes in waves for me, and if I’ve spent the day trying to come up with ways to make hunting gear look aesthetically pleasing, I’m plum out of sparkle by the time I open my laptop at night.

In this job, though, there will always be newsworthy stories. People are bananas, and so are their hidden belongings, so stay tuned.