Today the topic of my blog is: I do not have time to blog.
It’s true, lots of people have two kids and manage to do other things. In fact, I have a friend who has two boys and writes books on the side. BOOKS! Whole books that require research and planning and editing and actual thoughts! And I think she also does other work from home outside of the child-raising and book-writing. She, and most of my Facebook friends, put me to shame.
If I find a few minutes of quiet, I turn on the TV and stare like a zombie. If I find more than a few minutes, you better believe I’m taking a nap. I could clean, fold laundry, write poetry, or come up with alternatives to fossil fuel, but I don’t. I zone out and try to reboot. I need a few minutes where there are adults talking in the background and I don’t have to repeat myself to a defiant two year old trying to poke out his brother’s eyes. Sometimes I refocus during a commercial break and I realize I have no idea what show I’m watching until it comes back from the break. “Oh yeah, hi Bobby Flay.”
After the kids go to bed I know I should immediately go to bed myself, but I want more time to just BE. More specifically, to just BE with my husband, even if we are both just zoned out lumps on the couch. So I stay up too late, then Archie does that cute thing where he wakes up three times because rolling over is terrifying but apparently also uncontrollable. Then I’m tired anew. It’s a good thing he is adorable and loves to smile, because I really love sleep. Or I used to. I don’t remember anymore.
Really, it’s my own fault I don’t accomplish anything and then choose not to get enough sleep. I could be doing productive things, but when both the boys are awake my brain is going a mile a minute.
Did Jackson eat enough breakfast? Does he eat too many carbs? Maybe I’ll ask at his next well visit. When is his next well visit? I need to call and get that scheduled. Should I start Archer on solids? He seems content with milk most of the time, but maybe he isn’t getting enough nutrients because I eat cheeseburgers. Ooh cheeseburgers. “Jackson, don’t poke Archie! Jackson, don’t run cars on your brother! No cars on Archie’s head! Don’t lay on top of Archie, he needs to breathe! Thank you, now run and play with your trucks. No trucks on the window! Please don’t throw the truck at the window. Did you poop? Let’s change your diaper. Don’t say no to Mommy.” Ugh, is this poop normal? I hate this diaper pail. Maybe he will be potty trained soon so we don’t have to get another one. Ugh. Potty training.
That’s about two minutes worth. So when I tell myself I should blog or make calls and get things done, my brain says “no thanks” and demands I shut down and reboot. I have absolutely no idea how other parents have mental time for hobbies or even chores, because I am spent.